He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
