So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
