i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
