Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
