right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
