we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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