i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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