In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need water and some morals
My feet surprised me
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