And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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