dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
