adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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