I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
