the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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