I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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