What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
