i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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