is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
