You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
