PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
