Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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