we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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