I just saw a hot homeless man
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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