Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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