come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thus making me awesome and them whores
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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