fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
