there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
