The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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