i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
