Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
