You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
