I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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