Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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