I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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