Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
