is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
