Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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