If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
