we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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