Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
