my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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