he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
