oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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