y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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