absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
