He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize