If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
