youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
