Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize