walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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