i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
