this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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