I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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