the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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