Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
