Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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