I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
