why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
