puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize