Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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