dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
