But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
