i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
