bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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