i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
